Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
