wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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