She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
