Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
