Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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