Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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