I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
