and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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