He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
