I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
