Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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