You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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