dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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