Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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