How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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