WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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