My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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