so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
