I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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