Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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