I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
