this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
