Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well you can't waste a boner
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just forgot I was standing up.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
