In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
COCAINE IS GR8
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
