Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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