yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
