He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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