If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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