get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
