bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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