i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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