How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
