Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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