Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
