what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
