Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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