I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
