took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
