I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
