She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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