Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
