I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
