I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
