its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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