i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
