She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
