are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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