Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
