I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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