there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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