Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
