You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
