last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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