The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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