I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
